Nowadays we have Facebook and email and blogs and chat rooms all of which have people clutter.
What is people clutter? People clutter is simply people that do not bring anything productive to you or your day. Or people that their attitude just brings you down. People that have a habit of guilting you. People that seem to make you justify yourself constantly. People that make you feel bad about yourself. That's all people clutter.
I started with blogs. I love blogs and I had one blog that I felt was a kindred spirit but she decided to stop blogging which is her prerogative. I mourned the loss of her blog and went back from time to time and reread some of her articles. On several occasions she announced that she would be coming back to the blogging world and would for a few months then leave again. This went on for almost two years and I remained faithful though each time a little more frustrated. I see blogging as a responsibility. It's a choice you make to start one and if you start it then you take on the responsibility of maintaining it. The last time she came back she stayed a few weeks and then decided to leave it behind. I decided enough was enough and let her go.
The same with another blog that had me feeling, although unintentional on her part, like my house was lacking. It wasn't cozy enough and therefor my family was suffering. I cut her loose too and went back to my comfort level in house decor.
On Facebook I've had people that every time they post they whine. They never have a good day. Now I'm all for venting believe me but to constantly post those things and spend all day thinking those things has to be exhausting as is reading them everyday for me. So they are gone.
Now guilting people are so transparent for me because they could never top my mother in that department. She was queen of guilt ,God bless her, and had every trick in the book. So I can spot a guilter a mile away.
And I have been guilty, pardon the pun, of allowing one to guilt me, to the aggravation of my husband. "If you know they are guilting you then why put up with it?", he would ask. My reasoning was that since I knew they were guilting then I felt that took some of their power away and then I would just pick and choose what to allow or not to allow to be guilted with a result. I know, messed up, right?
Then there are the ones you have to answer to all the time. Every move you make or don't make you have to have a justified reason for. Because they are gonna ask and expect an answer. Don't you hate that? They just want power over you. Or the one's that expect you to build them up all the time and feel better about themselves. They are insecure and want to feel empowered.
And don't forget those sharks that we have talked about all year. The ones just waiting to feed on you if you trip up.
All of these are clutter.
I read a book several years ago about all types of clutter. The author himself had one person in particular that would come over incessantly while he was working and whine or fuss and in general hinder this man even though he knew he was working. It got so bad that as soon as he knew this fellow was coming, or about the time for him to visit again, he would sneak out the back door with his briefcase and work in the woods behind his house. He finally realized the absurdity of it and addressed the man and took care of it.
But we are also taught to be honest with ourselves and others. So what do you do?
There's something to be said for the art of tact. Wish I had the knack for it. Maybe there's an app for that. You know Tact 2.0 or something.
The fact is we have so many good things in our lives: our families and our households and our healthy relationships that we shouldn't be wasting our time on those that are not productive in helping us to maintain those dearest to us.
Until next time.... Kristi.
