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Monday, February 8, 2010

Contented Uncontentment as Uncontented Contentment

Finally my nightmare of around five months has ended. No more tests. I had my last follow up yesterday and I don't have to go back for a year.


I was a little worried five years ago and I was terrified this time. So much so that I went through the house with a pencil and paper to list things to give away and things I wanted my son to have in the event of my passing. I told my husband not to hold on to things just because they were mine, to toss them. So I told him to only keep what was on the list.


First thing I noticed was that I have nothing anyone would want. I'm serious. Out of all my prized possessions there were about ten things on my list. A few handmade quilts and things made by my grandmothers to go to family. My sons baby quilts to be kept until he has children of his own. Things like that. The rest of the stuff is sentimental to me and only me. Which means it's junk to everyone else.


So here I set today, surrounded by my sea of valueless valuables that I and I alone love, and I couldn't be happier. Now to figure out how to train them to be self-dusting!