Saturday, January 23, 2010
My Mother
The photo you see here, is of my mother, Dorothy, in her senior year of high school in 1953 . My mother is a very kind and thoughtful person. Always willing to help and usually doing so without being asked. She is very energetic. I've seen her run circles around others more than half her age. Funny to a fault, she can tell stories from her childhood and have you in tears. This is one great person that I am proud to call Mama. She read to me as a child and instilled my love of books. She sang around the house and instilled my love of music.
Dorothy is mostly sunny these days in her disposition, but she has a shadow that follows her. This shadow grows. Every morning is a test to see if it has grown or if it is in hibernation. Even if it is still, it hovers or follows and makes its presence known. You can feel its weight mostly at night in bed in the recollection of the day. Can see what it clouded. This shadow has a name and it is called Alzheimer's. She is in the early stages of the disease but already has lost so much. Simple daily tasks that she has done a thousand times suddenly can't be remembered well enough to perform. An old friends name escapes her memory with a shake of her head and an uttered "their face looks so familiar".
There are times I am hopeful that she will forget painful things that have happened to her. She lost a child many years ago and the hurt still runs deep from that loss. She smiles and talks around the lump in her throat when she mentions his name. The other day while housecleaning she came across a photo of him. She loving wiped the frame with tears in her eyes and I couldn't help but wonder how long will it be before she forgets his name. Will she forget him altogether? Will she simply feel a loss when she looks at that photo, but can't remember why? I have a feeling that no matter what this unforgiving disease takes from her it will leave the emotion. The memory of emotion.
Most days are sunny to Dorothy. She loves to be outside spotting planes or sitting in the swing reading a book. Her love of a good book is still with her. Most days are sunny the shadow may be there but it has not covered her light yet. Her light has shined for almost seventy-five years. It is strong and so is she.
Do you have someone that suffers from Alzheimer's Disease? What are your worries and fears? What are things you have found to help you and your family during this time?